Tuesday, May 11, 2010

What if I'm not good enough?

Sometimes I feel as though I'm not good enough for writing.
Then again, I go back to what I heard Lori Wilde say in one of her lessons on Ed2go.com.
To pretty much sum it up, she said it's not all about talent, you've gotta have commitment and drive.

I love to write, there's no question about that!
But, last night as I was laying my head down to sleep, I wondered, What if this never happens and I'm wasting my time?
I had that gut-kicking, sinking feeling inside the pit of my stomach.
No!  I thought.  I refuse to believe that!  I love this way too much for it to be a hobby!
Is that determination coming out?  Or is that stubbornness?
I mean...what if I'm never published?

There's some GREAT books out there!  That's my cometition!  Those books are also, ironically, my text books, my lessons and research. 

What if my writing is too stale?
What if it's never going to improve no matter how much I try to make it better?

I read a book lately by Danielle Steele, okay, so I read like the first chapter before I threw it into the yardsale stuff.
I coudln't stand her first 30 or more pages.  It was all boring backstory..and I mean BORING backstory, and I never could get out of the annoyed attitude.
Mark one book down for the 'no' list.

What if my writing is that boring?
I only picked up the book cause I like DS and I liked the cover and blurb....
What if that's as far as my story goes?
No one is going to pick up a book by some random person and read something after the first few pages that is too boring!

Nevermind the public for heavens sake!  What about an agent?!

I'm so frustrated.
But there's one thing for sure...
These feelings will NEVER keep me from writing.


  1. Ahhh, the lies that can pound in our head...
    I think the key, Kelly, is to realize your writing MAY be boring. Your story MAY flop. (Doesn't sound encouraging? Wait for it.) You may fall flat on your face and endure countless rejection. (Hold on, I promise.) In fact you probably, almost certainly will.

    THAT being said, (here it comes, finally!) something to keep in mind in all that bad and painful writing, all the wounding critques and outright hurtful rejection is this: They're rejecting a BOOK, not YOU.

    There's a good chance your first query won't land you a yes from your dream agent or editor. In fact, you may very well not sell your first book at all. (Have you read the million words theory? I think Rachelle Gardner has posted on it.) If you face something that tells you your work is in fact NOT good enough I advise these steps:
    1. Keep trying. Submit to more agents or rewrite the query. Wendy Lawson's blog from today is timely: http://www.booksandsuch.biz/blog/queryfail-debunking-the-myths
    2. Move on. I don't mean give up writing - I mean move on to the next book. It's probably very rare that an author actually publishes their first book. I've read the first book is about learning to write a book. Just like Michelangelo's first pre-K scribbles aren't in any museums (not to my knowledge anyway, and I will just assume he made some.) sometimes we have to learn the craft and put hours into that phase before we actually can triumph the first publishable book.

    So my advice is this: keep at your WIP and when you finish it stick it in a (literal or digital) drawer for three months - no peeking. Then work on something else.
    After you finish that first draft or 3 months (whichever comes later) look at your current WIP again. It needs editing. Is it still the project you want to edit or do you need to set it aside, put your just finished work in the drawer and start a new WIP?
    (I do say stick the new work in the drawer because you need to let the work become fresh again to edit as well as possible. It's a cyclical thing in my mind.)

  2. thanks so much, Wendy.
    Love all the good advice...and it wasn't harsh critique...it was honest, and I've felt that this book prooobably wont be published.
    But you know, it's so frustrating!
    I think I need to wrestle with this one for a while till it's finished.
    It's the inspiration I had while writing and doing the online class with Lori Wilde.
    She told me to finish one and don't quit till it's done.
    So, that's what I'm doing.
    The end is in sight, I just have to get there with minimal bruising and hair pulled.
    As frustrating as this one is,
    every time I wake up ready for a new work day, things end up on the page...so its not hopeless.
    I pray so hard before I get to writing that God will wirte the words and have what He'd want on there, not what I think is best.

    I know when I'm done, I'll feel as though I can do anything...
    and yes, this one is a bit boring..but just like us here on earth, the author's not finished with me yet
    THanks for being a faithful commenter. :)
    hope you have a good day, hon.