A Time of Silence

I've read several good posts today about the waiting and listening process we writers must encounter in order to have conflicts solved, spend time with our Savior and learn about ourselves.

I have lately been writing in the early hours of the day.

Well, this week, we're doing VBS from 6-9pm. which means we get back to our house at about 10pm.  No baths for the kids or nighttime routines have been done by 10 PM!!!!

Yesterday morning, I prayed as usual to receive guidance from God on what to write and where to take my story, but when I sat down to the computer, half-blank screen staring at me, blinking cursor mocking me, I just sat there, and did nothing.

I had 30 minutes alone in front of that computer, and nothing came out.  I just stared at it, unable to do anything, blank.  Nothing. Zilch, Nada.

I could have been frustrated, but instead, I picked up my VBS book and studied my lesson.

I'm co-teaching the youth this year, which is where my heart is, but I don't usually teach, I'm not comfortable teaching that age group.  I suppose I'm used to teaching 3yr olds, and 3yr olds are so animated when they listen to stories, youth just kinda...stare at you.

However, despite recent crappy teaching sessions, where the only thing anyone ever learned was that I'm a terrible youth teacher, I taught a class yesterday...and LOVED it!

I was more animated with them, and held onto my thoughts, kept pushing toward the mark, and I know yesterday morning when I couldn't write a sinlge word on that computer, God was beckoning me toward that lesson.

The extra time I had preparing for it, and preparing MYSELF for it by focusing and BEING with God is what focused me on LETTING God teach that lesson through me.

I believe I'm entering a time of silence in my writing, at least for this week while VBS insues.  After this, I look forward to spending that 5am hour on writing...and I know God's gonna give it to me, cause when He wasn't there, N-O-T-H-I-N-G.

This time of Him not breathing through me shows me that He's really there when something is left on the screen after 60 minutes pass.

Please pray for our VBS this week, and pray that through us someone will see Christ.

What are your prayer requests for this week?

Foreknowing

We all love our characters.
We wouldn't write about them if we didn't.

I love the one I'm working with now.
But I just recieved confirmation from God on how this little short speck of life will go that I'm capturing on the page.

It hurts me worse knowing what's to come.
It hurts knowing what the readers will have to feel as they read her story, cause they're going to feel exactly what I felt today as I cried, shaking my head, not wanting to do it (God will lead me).

And when they cry, so will I.

Now, stop for a moment.
Immerse yourself in your current issue right now.
God feels the same way about YOU!  God feels the same way about you!

He's been there.  He's already seen it.
He's gonna cry right along with you, just as He did with me (and does whenever I hurt).
He knows what you're going to feel.  He's felt it already in the foreknowing of what's to come.  He saw it on the screen, and He'll face it again when He sees it live ("...right by your siiiiiiiiiide..." -Mathew West).

As much as this stuff hurts, God knows exactly what you're going through.
He already knows you're suffering.  Take it to Him and lay it down at His feet so He can finally comfort you.

I kind of understand now.  I know that right now, in this moment of my life, I'm supposed to write what hurts so people can know it's real and that they can know where to go.

(excuse me while I rejoice in sorrow)

Hugs.

How about you?
Tell me what your purpose is right now, and what you feel God's leading you to do.

Book Club

Okay, I'm praying about joining the ACFW Book Club.

I love the Statement of Faith they have on their application.
It's 50.00 to join and 40.00 anually after that.
Not much considering all I'd get from them.

Friends, better conference pricing, classes, all that good...okay...GREAT stuff...but I only have so much monay I put into my writing envelope for writing expenses (per week).

Back at Christmas, I bought about ten books with a deal Christianbook.com had going.  I gave away two or three for my Secret Sister, and kept several for myself.  I'm still reading them, so I'm not going to purchase books anytime soon with this money, but...should I do this?

I feel like a book club is a big responsibility, one that I don't want to take lightly.

I've got the money reserved for writing expense...
I'm still seeking out God's wisdom
I believe He's given me you ladies/gents and our writerly connections for a reason, so I'm asking your opinions as well.

Q's4U:

What would you do, given the opportunity?
What have you done about it?
Are book clubs really worth the expense?
Do you find that you are growing due to the expense and responsibility?

Write This Way...

I. Love. Writing.
I love it.
As tired and as overwhelmed as it can get (you writers know what I mean), I love it.
Why else would we write...it's not an easy task, and the paycheck...?

However, I have a secret weapon...and no, it's not spell check.

My secret weapon is this:
I've got God.

My characters seem to speak to me, but I know Who it really is.  I have these ideas, but I know Who's they really are.  I have words on a blank screen, I know Where they're really from. 

They're not mine.
I've asked God to take this book, this incredible book that's been placed on my lap via a great, long time, trusted, loving caring, dear friend of mine. 
It's way bigger than me.  Way bigger.
I'm writing about hard stuff, and He's where I get my strength.

Each morning, before I sit down to write, I journal.  I ask God to lead my words, thoughts, phrases etc and mold it into what He'd have it to be (well, as far as first drafts are concerned)

I've been given a great critique partner.
We found each other in college, but now we're actually close, and I love her.  She's amazing.
God. Is. Working.

I have this idea that isn't mine, but I'm doing my best to make it God's, and He's answering back.
Each time there are words on my screen, I hear from Him.
My form of worship is writing.
I'm writing for me, and for God.  That's our time.
It's sacred, special, perfect. 
Okay, so not perfect, my other weapon is the backspace key...

But still, I know where the inspiration comes from, and I love tapping into that inspiration and finding how much God loves me through what He has me write.

The Bible may be the Greatest Love Letter ever written,
But my little notes from God are super special to me.

p.s. Sorry it's been so long, dear faithful followers, I love you mcuh.

How do you look at writing?
Is it worship?  Release?  Comfort?
What drives you in what you do?
Why do you love this so much?

Waiting Out the Storm, Ruth Logan Herne

I won this delightful little jewel from my friends at the Seekerville blog (this thing's acting screwey, I couldn't link their page.  Check them out on my blogroll to the right.)

On the back cover:
When family tragedy strikes, Sarah Slocum steps in as guardian to her two nieces and nephew.  But raising children isn't like raising sheep, and the beautiful shephard soon finds herself in over her head.  Who'd have guessed that new neighbor Craig Macklin would jump in to lend a hand? Craig's always held a grudge against Slocums-Sarah included.  Now the handsome local vet is helping with her livestock, giving her young nephew a job and smiling at her every chance he gets.  Sarah must decide whether she can trust Craig-and God's plan-and allow him into her family.

Sarah Slocum is a Native American spitfire!
I loved her from the begining, and to tell you the truth, I learned something from her.  It's that thing you always heard, but finally witnessed someone actually do, and that's "You can choose how you react"

Sarah's brother and father treated her like...crap, and she didn't react to them, further spuring them to be more hurtful, but they had their games, and caused lasting pain that she buried far below the surface..  However, she finally lets the self-pity and painfull words creep back to the surface, causing her to deal with the demons of the past after an accident leaves her face bruised and broken.
It causes her to question the beauty she felt she barely had in the first place, and led her to believe her brothers and step father were right.

This reminded me of most of the women I've talked to (and myself) on our self-confidence level and issues.  Watching this beautiful, strong, resiliant woman suffer these same issues and work through them really showed me that we don't have to listen to those voices we as women (and writers) have that tell us we're no good, we just have to believe God's plan, and be thankful for what He has blessed us with.


Having to deal with self-confidence issues she's worked so hard to hide, this stubborn, amazing, colorful woman heals with God's love and finally lets herself fall IN love with Craig Macklin. 

Craig is the usual jerk in the begining, but then again, his work with animals creates a soft spot, and Ruthy grows that soft spot and changes him to be the man Sarah needs. 
I love how Ruthy took this guy and transformed his thinking, first of all about this woman, and second about God. 

I just KNEW this would be a good read!  Turns out I was right!  Ruthy, girl...you did a GREAT job!  I'm looking forward to the other North Country novels!  Well done, Ruthy, well done.  (And thanks for the note, I keep telling myself not to quit, this made me smile :D)

Get Out of Bed!

I groaned, the stupid alarm clock again...how dare it mess with my dreams?!  The sun wasn't even up yet!  Why should I be up?!
Oh yeah, cause this is the time I set up to be my devotion/writing time...*sigh* It's just not right to have to get up this early...

I'm looking in the thin spaces of time I have during the day and trying to figure out when is a better time for me to write.
I hate getting up early lately, and I just can't seem to get enough snuggles with my children, making my get-ready time a little pushed back, and sometimes, undone...eek.

So, I'm calling all my writer friends...what are your schedules?  I've heard lots of you say you just write when you can...well, that gets me three months down the road, nothing written, so I need a schedule...what do you suggest?

Here's a normal day:
5am write
6am get ready
6:30 am get kids ready
7:00am leave for school and work
6pm get kids from school
6:30 pm home
7:00pm not really sure what we do here...I'll be looking closer at this time, but if I pick up my computer, my youngest starts crawling on me and whining to be held...they need mommy time at the end of a long day, and to be honest, I need children time, too.
we're eating by 8:00ish and in bed by 9:30ish.

Not a really scheduled time at the end of work...need to work on that one.
I'm sure if I had everything scheduled after work, it would be easier to find writing time at the end of the day...what are your schedules?