Disappointment

When we hear news that breaks our hearts, where do we turn?

Sunday night, I wanted to turn to anger.
What would that have solved?

Nothing, in fact, it would have created many more problems, like a law suit for starters.

However, now that I'm in a position of authrity, I had to seriously reconsider my feelings.

I began to realize, this person is no different than me.
I was once in their shoes.

What right do I have to judge?
I've been forgiven of each and every sin in my past, they can be too.
Especially by me who should understand more than anyone.

So I turned to love.  Not my love, but Christ's love.

How did the people I disappoint feel so many years ago when I wound up in those same shoes?
Probably the same as I do now.
But they too showed me love.

I was so at home with my church family, after feeling their love and acceptance, I was able to move on.
However, at the slightest judgement, I wanted to run.  Far and fast.

But they didn't judge me.  They loved me.

When someone disappoints us, our first reaction may be to get angry, it may be to take them by the shoulders and pin them against the wall and say, "Look at me!! Look at where I was!   DO NOT GO THERE!!!!"
But by the love and compassion we've been shown by the One who created us, we realize we are, by the grace of that Creator, not in the same shoes, and thus, the love overflows...
and in some ways, when the love overflows, the feelings of pain and hurt become worse.

We're vulnerable again.

Once we've been burned, we want to close it off, and then what happens when we open up again?
Disappointment.


But then I looked at their life.
It's falling apart.
They're grasping at whever makes sense right now.
And right now...
it's what could really hurt them.

I ache for them right now.
But I'm just a leader in their church.
I'm not the parent...and if I was, you'd bet they'd be pinned...

But I'm not.
I've still got my little boys to think about.
I've still got my family who needs me to be all I can be and not dwell on this.

So now I can only hope.

WHAT?!!!
THATS IT??!!!!

THATS ALL I GOT?!

Surely with the relationship we've had, with the authority I've got....

No.
That's it.

BULL!!!!

Sorry, Kel.  Nothing you can do.


YOU'RE WRONG!

Sorry.

I'm going to DO something.
I'm going to be on my FACE for her...and ask God what to TALK about with her...
SHE. CAN. SILL. BE. RESCUED.

I DONT BELIEVE YOU.
THIS STUPID POLICITALLY CORRECT VOICE IN MY HEAD...
I'm going to do all I can for the people I love...and she's one of them.

Q4u:
In a situation that involved someone else...did you do what you could or did you look away?

Book Club

Okay, I'm praying about joining the ACFW Book Club.

I love the Statement of Faith they have on their application.
It's 50.00 to join and 40.00 anually after that.
Not much considering all I'd get from them.

Friends, better conference pricing, classes, all that good...okay...GREAT stuff...but I only have so much monay I put into my writing envelope for writing expenses (per week).

Back at Christmas, I bought about ten books with a deal Christianbook.com had going.  I gave away two or three for my Secret Sister, and kept several for myself.  I'm still reading them, so I'm not going to purchase books anytime soon with this money, but...should I do this?

I feel like a book club is a big responsibility, one that I don't want to take lightly.

I've got the money reserved for writing expense...
I'm still seeking out God's wisdom
I believe He's given me you ladies/gents and our writerly connections for a reason, so I'm asking your opinions as well.

Q's4U:

What would you do, given the opportunity?
What have you done about it?
Are book clubs really worth the expense?
Do you find that you are growing due to the expense and responsibility?

How do you focus?

I find it extremely hard to focus on all my tasks at work without letting my characters creep back in the forefront!
The kids and the hubbs are great.  I love vegging out with them, and being with them.

But when it comes to work...it seems as though I'll be staring at the computer wondering what my charachters will do next, trying to imagine them speaking to me, I pray hard for God to show me where they should go. It's almost like I've entered a world, and when I have to think, and don't feel like doing somthing, my mind reverts back to my word-filled laptop screen, instead of the fincnace program I'm supposed to be UTILIZING at WORK where I get PAID!!!!

I feel like I'm so close to something!  I feel God pulling me toward something and if I can juuuust close my eyes and listen for just a few minutes....Wait, what am I doing again?  Where was I?  Oh right, work...here we go...
Five minutes later, it's the same thing!

I'll have to shake myself out of my thoughts and refocus on what I'm supposd to be doing! 


How do you keep the job from interfering with the JOB?
Help, help, help!
Am I just lazy?  Do I find more pleasure in writing?  OF COURSE!
But maybe I need to really focus on what's important at the time and really get into it just because I should do all things as if working for the Lord, since, ya know?  As a Christian, that's EXACTLY what I'm doing.

So how do you do it?