Did He Really Love Me?

I was listening to Way FM one morning and heard Brant pose a question about God loving us now that we're His children, but does He hate us when we sin?
It was (okay, I'm paraphrasing here) mentioned by one of the people, not quite sure who it was that He loves us now that we're his children and doesn't hate us when we sin.

But a peace settled across my soul becuase God doesn't hate us, he hates our sin.  But even though God hates sin, He doesn't leave us lying in our own dirty pit of it.  He shows us, repremands us, and teaches us how to overcome it!  WE ARE VICTORIOUS!!!

I think a lot of people, myself included feel at one point or another that God judges us on how we act.  Did I pray today?  Did I ask God for help?  Will he still hear me even if I thought I could do this on my own?  Will he be mad or do something bad to me if I don't go to church?  That is, thankfully, not our place with God.

In the begining, we were at emnity with God.  But HE STILL LOVED US THEN!!!!
How do we know this?

For God so LOVED the world that he sent his only son that whosoever believes in him woudln't perish but have everlasting life.

God loves us, how are we to really KNOW he loves us?

My husband was teaching our youth last night in AWANA and one of the teenagers asked if once we're saved, can we get lost again?
VERY important, VERY pertinant question.

So can we?

NO!

Praise God, if his Jesus wasn't sufficient enough to keep me, then he would have had another kid and sent him too.  That's how much God loves us.
But Jesus was sufficient becuase, okay, first of all he IS God.  Part of the Trinity.
He came as God in the flesh and died for our sins.

God hates sin.  We all know that, otherwise, he wouldn't have told us not to sin.  But He does NOT hate us.  All Scripture, all the times I've personally felt God with me, near me, loving me, healing me, teaching me, and walking with me PROVES that He loved us in the begining becuase until about 5 years or so ago, I wasn't saved.  But I still felt God with me.

A child in the midst of tragedy or danger can sense God protecting them, or even being present with them and so can we.  Now, I know Jesus loves children.  He was a male who actually gave children the time of day back then.  He gave women the time of day...even the ones he was forbidden to talk to!  He LOVES US!!!!

He upended religeon of his day to SHOW us this.

God sent his Son and the Holy Spirit, to show us he loves us.  In John 1:1-2 and 14 he Bible says:  ¹In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. ²He was with God in the beginning.  14The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only,[d] who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. 




"You light up the sky, you light up the sky to show me you are with me!  I can't deny, no I can't deny that you are RIGHT HERE WITH ME! You opened my eyes, so I can see you all around me, you light up the sky, you light up the sky to show me....that you are with me..." - The Afters (Again, paraphrasing :)

I want whomever is reading this to know that God doesn't hate you.
He loves you.
Sinner, lift up your head!
Love is passing by!

By the grace of God, I am His.
Not by what I have done, but by what God has done.

~~~~



Alright, family, if I have missinterpreted things here, please point them out.
Unfortunately, when I was trying to get ahold of the radio station to talk to them about this, all I could hear was a bunch of static.  :(  So I hung up the phone.

Joy vs Happiness

I was listening to Jill Briscoe, an Ah-HA!-MAAAAZING teacher and speaker.
If you've never heard her, you NEED to!
Telling the Truth is her family's ministry.
She is the person that prayed and spoke at the Just Give Me Jesus! event.


She was talking about joy vs. happines.

Happiness is fleeting.
Happiness you find in finishing a task; from the rain and a good cup'a joe; from a silly movie you've been dying to see, but joy...
Joy is much different.

I learned WHY I feel so wonderful when I write.
Why I feel as though it's what I'm called to do.

Becuase it brings me joy.
And it makes me happy but the point is:

Her definition of joy is when God smiles.

When I'm writing and we're communing, THAT is making God smile.
Therefore, THAT brings me joy.

We are made to bring praise to God.
When we do what we are meant to do, it brings God joy...for me, that's writing.
I can feel Him smile over me.  When I ask Him to come with me and work through me, that gives God joy.

What about you?
What do you do that gives God joy?

 Find Jill Brisco's work here and here.
The two on Spirit Life for 9/14/2010 and 9/13/2010 are what you're looking for, although every one of them packs a power punch of love and learning.

Prayer Requests

Last night at church, I sat and listened to all the requests we had from our small group of believers.
There were SO many!

We live in such a broken world!  A child of 3 has leukemia, her 6 year old sister is scared to death.  A really sweet lady is in the hospital...  The list could go on...for HOURS!  There are so many things to be praying for!

But I wonder:
As desperate as we are for God to heal and fix...what are you THANKFUL for?

A Time of Silence

I've read several good posts today about the waiting and listening process we writers must encounter in order to have conflicts solved, spend time with our Savior and learn about ourselves.

I have lately been writing in the early hours of the day.

Well, this week, we're doing VBS from 6-9pm. which means we get back to our house at about 10pm.  No baths for the kids or nighttime routines have been done by 10 PM!!!!

Yesterday morning, I prayed as usual to receive guidance from God on what to write and where to take my story, but when I sat down to the computer, half-blank screen staring at me, blinking cursor mocking me, I just sat there, and did nothing.

I had 30 minutes alone in front of that computer, and nothing came out.  I just stared at it, unable to do anything, blank.  Nothing. Zilch, Nada.

I could have been frustrated, but instead, I picked up my VBS book and studied my lesson.

I'm co-teaching the youth this year, which is where my heart is, but I don't usually teach, I'm not comfortable teaching that age group.  I suppose I'm used to teaching 3yr olds, and 3yr olds are so animated when they listen to stories, youth just kinda...stare at you.

However, despite recent crappy teaching sessions, where the only thing anyone ever learned was that I'm a terrible youth teacher, I taught a class yesterday...and LOVED it!

I was more animated with them, and held onto my thoughts, kept pushing toward the mark, and I know yesterday morning when I couldn't write a sinlge word on that computer, God was beckoning me toward that lesson.

The extra time I had preparing for it, and preparing MYSELF for it by focusing and BEING with God is what focused me on LETTING God teach that lesson through me.

I believe I'm entering a time of silence in my writing, at least for this week while VBS insues.  After this, I look forward to spending that 5am hour on writing...and I know God's gonna give it to me, cause when He wasn't there, N-O-T-H-I-N-G.

This time of Him not breathing through me shows me that He's really there when something is left on the screen after 60 minutes pass.

Please pray for our VBS this week, and pray that through us someone will see Christ.

What are your prayer requests for this week?

Foreknowing

We all love our characters.
We wouldn't write about them if we didn't.

I love the one I'm working with now.
But I just recieved confirmation from God on how this little short speck of life will go that I'm capturing on the page.

It hurts me worse knowing what's to come.
It hurts knowing what the readers will have to feel as they read her story, cause they're going to feel exactly what I felt today as I cried, shaking my head, not wanting to do it (God will lead me).

And when they cry, so will I.

Now, stop for a moment.
Immerse yourself in your current issue right now.
God feels the same way about YOU!  God feels the same way about you!

He's been there.  He's already seen it.
He's gonna cry right along with you, just as He did with me (and does whenever I hurt).
He knows what you're going to feel.  He's felt it already in the foreknowing of what's to come.  He saw it on the screen, and He'll face it again when He sees it live ("...right by your siiiiiiiiiide..." -Mathew West).

As much as this stuff hurts, God knows exactly what you're going through.
He already knows you're suffering.  Take it to Him and lay it down at His feet so He can finally comfort you.

I kind of understand now.  I know that right now, in this moment of my life, I'm supposed to write what hurts so people can know it's real and that they can know where to go.

(excuse me while I rejoice in sorrow)

Hugs.

How about you?
Tell me what your purpose is right now, and what you feel God's leading you to do.

Write This Way...

I. Love. Writing.
I love it.
As tired and as overwhelmed as it can get (you writers know what I mean), I love it.
Why else would we write...it's not an easy task, and the paycheck...?

However, I have a secret weapon...and no, it's not spell check.

My secret weapon is this:
I've got God.

My characters seem to speak to me, but I know Who it really is.  I have these ideas, but I know Who's they really are.  I have words on a blank screen, I know Where they're really from. 

They're not mine.
I've asked God to take this book, this incredible book that's been placed on my lap via a great, long time, trusted, loving caring, dear friend of mine. 
It's way bigger than me.  Way bigger.
I'm writing about hard stuff, and He's where I get my strength.

Each morning, before I sit down to write, I journal.  I ask God to lead my words, thoughts, phrases etc and mold it into what He'd have it to be (well, as far as first drafts are concerned)

I've been given a great critique partner.
We found each other in college, but now we're actually close, and I love her.  She's amazing.
God. Is. Working.

I have this idea that isn't mine, but I'm doing my best to make it God's, and He's answering back.
Each time there are words on my screen, I hear from Him.
My form of worship is writing.
I'm writing for me, and for God.  That's our time.
It's sacred, special, perfect. 
Okay, so not perfect, my other weapon is the backspace key...

But still, I know where the inspiration comes from, and I love tapping into that inspiration and finding how much God loves me through what He has me write.

The Bible may be the Greatest Love Letter ever written,
But my little notes from God are super special to me.

p.s. Sorry it's been so long, dear faithful followers, I love you mcuh.

How do you look at writing?
Is it worship?  Release?  Comfort?
What drives you in what you do?
Why do you love this so much?

Write What Hurts

Lately, I've been finding it hard to move past the simple daily tasks:
Brush teeth,
Get kids ready
Work for 10 hours
Get kids home
Softball?
Church?
Bed
Do it again the next day.

But, thank God I'm a Christian, I don't know how the other half of the population survives w/o Christ in their hearts.
I have to confess this:
One morning, I awoke to my dastardly alarm clock.  I shut if off, quite forcefully, and went back to bed.
That's not the bad part...that's the mild part.
I HEARD my Savior calling to me. I literally HEARD Him.
What happened?
I was already lost in sleep.
Yeah...ouch.
Can you imagine the special time we could have had?!


But what did He offer when I woke up alert at six, saddened by my mistake?
Joy.
Yes.  That Joy Unspeakable.
I love my Savior.  If you don't know Him, ask me, but what a JOY!
..."They will soar on wings like eagles"
I was happy to read that.
Despite the energy sapping days I have, I can STILL have joy.
Amazing.
Purely Amazing.

..."but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:30-31

As a runner, I GET the not grow weary part, walk and not faint...if you're in Florida, you'd better have a gallon o' wata waiting at the end of your run!

...but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength...
I just can't get over it.
Praise God He's so...Complete.
I've got joy again.
It's hard to hang on to it...but I just keep repeating those words over and over and over again.  I CAN hope.  I have all the tools I NEED to hope.  the LORD will renew my strength.  Not just sleep, not circumstances, not excitement for things on earth...only God can do it *write* :D

Now, on to the day's post...lol.  It's not long, I promise.  We done had church, so not much more can be said! lol

Not in a million years did I think I could write so passionately again.
I love it.
However, I've been afraid of my work in progress.
Why?
Becuase it's a scary subject.
One that has been battled for years.
In a nutshell, it's about abortion, and in some smaller light, government.

How do you find the courage to write what hurts?

Note:
Check these out.  They're great posts!

http://emergingnotemergency.blogspot.com/
http://cba-ramblings.blogspot.com/2010/06/risky-gift.html
http://seekerville.blogspot.com/2010/06/courage.html

What's it to ya?

It occured to me the other day, as I was ashamed to raise my hands in a praise song (shallow?  I felt as though I was), that I didn't really want to draw attention to myself, and I still feel that way. 

Please, if you have another opinion, share it with me!  I'm really sad that I can't just raise my hands in praise for fear of drawing attention to myself (I don't feel that way when other people do it, but I feel that way about myself)!

Instead, I bow my head and pray as I'm praising, or make an 'audience of one' for myself instead of showing outwardly what's going on  inside.  ( I DO NOT feel this way about other people!  Just sayin' this is how I feel deep inside) 

But then I heard it said today in a lesson by Pete Briscoe that if you worship outwardly, your spirit follows.  As I've felt lately, if I worship inwardly, outward worship is a reflection...but I'm thoroughly confused now. lol

But then I thought about the things I do on a daily basis.
I don't curse, I don't smoke, I don't drink.
If I lie, I feel terrible and have to spill about the truth quickly or I'll be eaten up with regret and guilt.
If I see something not right, morally, (i.e. hiding evidence while something's going on in the background with the police and we're assumed innocent) I can't stand it, and WILL walk away...

And then I get the looks and comments of:  "Goody two-shoes"  and "Holier than thou" attitudes.

WHAT'S IT TO YA!?
Who said I was doing it for you?!


I'm staying morally strong for in my relationship with GOD!
I don't want to feel that guilt, that gut-twisting, heart-palpitating, uncomfortable guilt!
I kinda wanna stay away from it!  And I want my relationship with God to stay clean,  not rocky.


But why can't I feel as though that's what's going on with my worship?  Why can' t I block out the attention I'd be getting, (which I know, if someone lifts up their hands in worhsip, I look and then turn away cause I KNOW it's between them and God!  Why I think it's different, I'll never know!)
Am I being shallow?  Is this just how I worship?  Maybe so.  This hurts to say, but am I focusing on 'them' instead of God?
What's your thoughts?

Sorry for the rant, but I'm a little peeved about it right now.  No particular reason except that I'm just confued I suppose.

Can He even hear me?!

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. 27And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. Romans 8:26



Read that again….


If you’re like me, this verse has been hiding in the Bible for as long as I’ve been able to read! I’ve never seen this verse before, and lately, I’ve read or heard it more than once.


I get the same chill down my spine and pep in my step each time I hear it.


However, the logical side of me wonders what’s coming.


Have you ever just wondered from where the next trial will come? What will it be? Who will it be? Why? When? You’re not alone, that’s for sure.


A friend of mine posed the question: “How do we prepare?”


So how do we?


I think back to when I was a kid, every question like that could be answered with: Pray, and Read your Bible.


That’s it! That’s the right answer again!  In his book, Every Day with Jesus; The Full Armor of God, Selwyn Hughes says this:


“As I have been saying, the spiritual application of the helmet of salvation is not so much the enjoyment of our present salvation (though it includes that) as it is the assurance that a sure salvation is coming-and is even now at work”


God does work out our lives according to His purpose!  But what if that plan includes us or someone we love suffers from depression, drug addiction, affairs, child loss?


What about then?


Those prayers where all you do is sit in the presence of God and cry? Those utterances of your heart, God hears those.


How?


It’s heard through the Spirit that’s in us. I recall in the Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren, that he mentioned that God isn’t a God that is sitting back waiting for our sacrifice and a job well done. He’s with us, in us, and hurting with the ones He loves.


Those times when all you can do is take one last step, one last word, even if you can’t get that far, He hears that ache, that groan, that whisper of His name.


I’ve had such confusing times and painful moments in my life (as we all have) and sometimes I could only look up to the dark sky and hold my hands out, or fists, and say ‘why?’…okay, so it was more like…”WHY?!”


I had no idea how to pray, or how to respond!


He heard that. But most important, He heard the uttering in my heart below the confused and angry surface. He heard me. And the best part, just as one best friend to another, there were no words needed.


Get to your Bible. Prepare for that hardship. Draw close to Him. Prepare for that next hurdle. Focus on His Words to us, soak them in and learn from them. Brand them to the fabric of your heart. And next time Satan comes around, throwing darts, you’ve got that hope of Salvation.


You’ve got the hope that God WILL come through in the end. And he’s going to be with you in that circumstance, and He’s going to be fighting with you, and picking you up, even if it’s to hide you away while He continues fighting! There’s no doubt, you’ll be safe. And the best part is you’ll be heard. Because He hears exactly what your mouth can’t say.






Remember Him today, and thank Him for what He’s already done for you. Thank Him for what He’s already worked out, and heard from the ‘bottom of your heart’.