Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Disappointment

When we hear news that breaks our hearts, where do we turn?

Sunday night, I wanted to turn to anger.
What would that have solved?

Nothing, in fact, it would have created many more problems, like a law suit for starters.

However, now that I'm in a position of authrity, I had to seriously reconsider my feelings.

I began to realize, this person is no different than me.
I was once in their shoes.

What right do I have to judge?
I've been forgiven of each and every sin in my past, they can be too.
Especially by me who should understand more than anyone.

So I turned to love.  Not my love, but Christ's love.

How did the people I disappoint feel so many years ago when I wound up in those same shoes?
Probably the same as I do now.
But they too showed me love.

I was so at home with my church family, after feeling their love and acceptance, I was able to move on.
However, at the slightest judgement, I wanted to run.  Far and fast.

But they didn't judge me.  They loved me.

When someone disappoints us, our first reaction may be to get angry, it may be to take them by the shoulders and pin them against the wall and say, "Look at me!! Look at where I was!   DO NOT GO THERE!!!!"
But by the love and compassion we've been shown by the One who created us, we realize we are, by the grace of that Creator, not in the same shoes, and thus, the love overflows...
and in some ways, when the love overflows, the feelings of pain and hurt become worse.

We're vulnerable again.

Once we've been burned, we want to close it off, and then what happens when we open up again?
Disappointment.


But then I looked at their life.
It's falling apart.
They're grasping at whever makes sense right now.
And right now...
it's what could really hurt them.

I ache for them right now.
But I'm just a leader in their church.
I'm not the parent...and if I was, you'd bet they'd be pinned...

But I'm not.
I've still got my little boys to think about.
I've still got my family who needs me to be all I can be and not dwell on this.

So now I can only hope.

WHAT?!!!
THATS IT??!!!!

THATS ALL I GOT?!

Surely with the relationship we've had, with the authority I've got....

No.
That's it.

BULL!!!!

Sorry, Kel.  Nothing you can do.


YOU'RE WRONG!

Sorry.

I'm going to DO something.
I'm going to be on my FACE for her...and ask God what to TALK about with her...
SHE. CAN. SILL. BE. RESCUED.

I DONT BELIEVE YOU.
THIS STUPID POLICITALLY CORRECT VOICE IN MY HEAD...
I'm going to do all I can for the people I love...and she's one of them.

Q4u:
In a situation that involved someone else...did you do what you could or did you look away?

6 comments:

  1. Depends on the situation. But you already know that. Prayer is probably the best way to go for a start. If somebody I loved needed help, I would help them, though--to the best of my ability.

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  2. Exactly.
    Thank you, so much, Jill.
    Prayer is where I've been and where I'll continue to be till I hear differently.

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  3. Wow - this was a powerful post, Kelly. Thanks for sharing your struggle and your heart.

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  4. Thanks, Katie :)

    After writing this out, it doestn' seem so...confusing.

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  5. It depends on different things. *sigh* What a hard spot to be in, but it sounds like you're going to follow Jesus on this and you can never go wrong with that. :-)

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